Angry Czeck 2.0

You recall that the Angry Czeck recently celebrated his 35th birthday, prompting his friends and co-workers to say, “Gosh, I thought you’d be more accomplished.”

Well there, Slick, I’m not allowing the next three and a half decades to transpire without some solid accomplishment stuck in my elastic waistband. Consider this the beginning of the One And Three Quarter Score Age of The Angry Czeck as I cross these mighty accomplishments off this equally-as-mighty list.

Angry Accomplishments
(To Be Completed by the Year 2044)

• Catch an arrow out of the air with my bare hands
• Wrestle an alligator
• Slap a punk around
• Drive a tank
• Remind the butler who’s boss
• Browbeat a Senator (state or federal)
• Plan and execute a Count of Monte Cristo-like revenge
• Destroy a Death Star
• Perform a King Slender Backbreaker™ on a deserving foe
• Become the first man to bowl a 301
• Guest star on Grey’s Anatomy: Everybody Dies
• Bench-press my weight.
• Weigh 100lbs.
• Restore the dignity and prestige of chest hair
• Break stuff for Jesus
  
• “Chief Justice Angry Czeck”
• Build a particle accelerator
• Finally give Chuck Norris some payback*

Maybe I’ll pull a bus with my teeth or dabble in Brazilian street fighting, too. I don’t know. Just consider this list a good start.



*The guy eating Chuck’s foot? That’s right, it’s me. He said, “We fight on three.” And you know what? That kick came on “two.” Just saying.

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